August 2010
5 posts
Local News - Snow White Drop Kicks 4 year old at...
San Francisco - After parents and chaperons witnessed a young boy punching Dopey in the stomach on top of a jungle gym Snow White allegedly grabbed the 4 year old perpetrator, took him out of the sand box, and kicked him into the street. Conflicting stories are coming in, but Snow White gave a statement to our reporter; “He’s lucky I didn’t bust a cap in his ass.”
Update...
Breaking News - Jasmine chokes Aladdin at Scores...
New York - Patrons from the Strip Club Scores witnessed Jasmine, Princess of Agrabah, ripping off an employee’s costume and using a g-string to put Aladdin, who was attending a bachelor party with his friend Abu, in a choke hold. Police arrested her this morning.
Details to follow…
Entertainment - 'Clean House' Producers Discover...
Las Vegas- A TV crew from the hit show was about to call the police when they found 2 kids screaming and running rampant around the house and Moira, the wife of Peter Pan, in a corner sitting, holding her legs in the fetal position, rocking back and forth. When asked where the family’s father was Jack, the couple’s son, told the cop that daddy “took too much acid and was...
Neighbors call CPS on Rapunzel - Prostitution Ring...
Boston -Concerned citizens were suspicious of a young woman who was constantly letting men climb up her hair from the third floor of an old Victorian building. Police questioned her foster mom and she denied claims that she was selling Rapunzel for sex. Check back for update on suspected sex slave trade…
4 tags
Breaking News - Cinderella Found Working at...
Los Angeles - After meeting Prince Charming, living in his castle for seven years, and giving birth to his three children the King’s Son divorced her for a Swedish Bikini Model. Sources reveal that after being told that “It’s not you it’s me” the jilted step-sister of the two city spinsters hit the streets, got a job, and changed her name to ‘Barbie’ to attempt to hide her identity. ...
